Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Oh please, No more spandex and speedos!!

There is no possible way to look good in triathlon clothing!!  I am a fairly slim guy and I am in decent shape and I still look like an idiot in spandex.  God forbid you are overweight then you just look completely ridiculous.  You either need to be an 18 year old girl with a body of a supermodel or have a chiseled body like Arnold Schwarzenegger to look good in triathlon clothing.

How do overweight people find sizes for them?  My triathlon shirt is an EXTRA LARGE and I am not a big guy!!   When I tried on a large shirt I felt like a baboon trying to get into a bra that was 3 sizes too small.  Seriously, I  almost  got stuck getting into and out of it.  Now, that would have been comical at the race store!  "Excuse me Miss, can you get a crowbar and get this shirt off me".

Now these outfits are suppose to be skin tight to help with aerodynamics and streamlining.  I do not care how tight you make these outfits; if you do not have the body like a supermodel, a chiseled chest  and/or you are not an elite athlete there is no streamlining you.  It's like streamlining a big yellow bus.  It just isn't going to happen.

 So why don't manufactures make outfits for “normal” people?  Outfits that don't make us look completely ridiculous.  If you walked into ANYWHERE with this outfit on you would get some pretty strange looks (unless it was a Village People reunion).

My only relief is that everyone else around me looks like idiots also.  Except for those perfect body types that I only see for about the first 5 seconds of the race and never see them again because they are so fast (and streamlined).  I think they are the lucky ones.  They are so fast that very few people actually get to see them in these ridiculous clothes.

The blog, Steve in a Speedo? Gross!, has taken this to a whole new level.  He purposely went out and bought the brightest speedo possible to make a joke of it. This post can be found here, and here. This is a great blog and I encourage you to follow it if you are interested in triathlons.  He has a weird sense of humor like me.


  1. The socks with the sandals completes the outfit! You are right about the clothing. And honestly - even on the perfect body- sometimes they just reveal too much!

    Keep up the good work!

  2. Thank you for commenting. Do I know you?